Don't Say Goodbye... I'm Not Leaving

By Robert Karshner

Directed by Rolland Roebuck

Do you have the will to make a will? When admitted to the hospital with a non-specific illness, Herb is pressured by his wife to discuss his ‘wishes’ with her brother, Bruce, a high-powered attorney. He begrudgingly agrees, but during the meeting between Herb and Bruce, Bruce spontaneously collapses into a coma, leaving Herb to defend Bruce’s ‘wishes’ and keep the medical ‘idiots’ from pulling the plug by caring for Bruce in his own home. A month later, as Bruce’s condition remains static, the stressful situation escalates into hilarity.

MENU: Beef Stroganoff over Buttered Noodles, Steamed Vegetable Blend, Memories famous fluff, Dinner Salad with French Dressing, Warm Dinner Rolls, Heath Bar Torte

Produced by Memories Dinner Theater at Memories Dinner Theatre, 1077 Lake Drive, Port Washington

Performances: August 5-20, 2014

Performance Times: Tuesday and Wednesday matinees. Doors open: 11:45 am, Dinner at 12:30 pm, Show at 1:45 pm

Ticket Prices: $40 for Dinner and Show, $25 for Show Only

Call 2622846850 for reservations or more information.

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Auditions will be held on the following days:


Memories will be holding auditions February 23, 24, and 25 for its four 2014 Weekday Matinee productions. Three are straight comedies: "Fox on the Fairway," "Don't Say Goodbye...I'm Not Leaving," and "Seniors of the Sahara." One, called “The Kids Left. The Dog Died. Now What?” is a musical comedy.

Eleven female roles and at least ten male roles will be cast for a variety of ages. Payroll consideration may be available based on role demands and experience. Memories strongly encourages all actors and actresses to audition for shows/roles of interest, regardless of the age and physical descriptions of the characters, as flexibility within casting is always an option.

All productions are part of the “Midweek Matinee” series performed Tuesdays and Wednesdays (1:45 pm curtain) for three weeks.

Audition dates and times are as follows:
Sunday, February 23, 2:00 pm~ Auditions for the three straight plays only
Monday, February 24, 6:30 pm ~ Auditions for the musical as well as the three straight plays
Tuesday, February 25 6:30 pm ~ Callbacks for all four shows

Actors will do cold script readings for the straight plays. Anyone interested in auditioning for the musical is asked to come prepared with 16-24 bars of a Broadway song or a song from “The Kids Left. The Dog Died. Now What?” Actors who are asked to return to Tuesday’s callbacks for the musical will sing specific selections from the musical with an accompanist.

Please call Memories directly with any questions at 262-284-6850. Memories is located at 1077 Lake Drive, Port Washington. Information is also available online at

The four productions being cast are:

1. "Fox on the Fairway" (June 3 – 18, 2014- Straight Play)
Directed by Ralph Maffongelli
Casting 3F (ages 20s-50s), 3M (ages 20s-50s)

2. "The Kids Left. The Dog Died. Now What?" (July 8 – 23, 2014- Musical Comedy)
Directed by Zachary Curtis. Musical Director to be announced.
Casting 2F (ages 40s-50s), 2M (40s-50s)

3. "Don't Say Goodbye, I'm Not Leaving" (August 5 – 20, 2014- Straight Play)
Directed by Rolland Roebuck
Casting 2F (ages 40s-60s), 2M (ages 40s-60s)

4. "Seniors of the Sahara: (September 23 - October 9, 2014- Straight Play)
Directed by Heather Hernandez
Casting 4F (ages 50s-70s), 3-5M (ages 30s-60s)


Fox on the Fairway by Ken Ludwig

HENRY BINGHAM (male, 40s-50s): Director of the Quail Valley Country Club. He is witty and cynical at times, much like Basil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers. He gets into a high-stakes bet on a golf tournament and is determined to do what it takes to win. He is also unhappy in his marriage to Muriel and becomes involved with Pamela.

PAMELA PEABODY (female, late 30s/early 40s): A member of the Quail Valley Country Club. She is very attractive and sophisticated, but a bit loose and a bit of a drinker. Throughout the play she aids Bingham in his plans to make sure their club wins.

JUSTIN HICKS (male, mid 20s): Bingham’s new eager-to-please assistant who volunteers his services as a golfer to help Quail Valley win the golf tournament. He is romantically involved with Louise and proposes to her early on, but becomes emotionally distraught when things become difficult between them.

LOUISE HEINDBEDDER (female, mid 20s): A waitress at the Quail Valley Country Club. She is very attractive, and a bit flighty, but studious. She gets engaged to Justin early on, but a mishap results in her becoming very upset over their future together, making her bawl at a moment’s notice.

DICKIE BELL (male, 40-50s): The director of the rival Crouching Squirrel Country Club, with whom Bingham gets into a high-stakes bet. He is a bit obnoxious, including his fashion sense, but tries to come off as good-natured. He is Pamela’s ex and has a thing for Bingham’s wife Muriel.

MURIEL BINGHAM (female, 40s-50s): Bingham’s wife, who runs an antique shop, which becomes part of the bet between Henry and Dickie. Generally overbearing and stern, she somehow has a soft spot for Dickie.

The Kids Left. The Dog Died. Now What? (Musical Revue) by Carole Caplan Lonner

FEMALE #1 (40s): *See note below.
FEMALE #2 (50s): *See note below.
MALE #1 (late 40s/early 50s): *See note below.
MALE #2 (late 40s/early 50s): *See note below.

* The cast members each play numerous roles using props and costume pieces to distinguish the various characters. These characters will be portrayed through songs and skits relating to such subject matter as described within the following synopsis: This musical comedy salutes those valiantly struggling with divorce on their hands, gravity on their bodies, grandchildren on their self-images and the dating scene on their egos. The risks and uncertainties of being alive come alive through song and scene. Aging gracefully is the final frontier! A humorous and heartfelt look at the day-to-day concerns of the over-fifty 'empty-nester' crowd including everything from retirement and AARP, dating to divorce, plastic surgery and grandparenting.

Don’t Say Goodbye, I’m Not Leaving by Roger Karshner

EDNA (female, 40s-60s): Herb’s devoted wife, whose life hasn’t quite ended up where she would like it to be. She loves her husband and now asks that for once in his life, he consider her future, should something happen to him. After a health scare, she urges her resistant husband to meet with her brother, Bruce, and write a will.
HERB (male, 40s-60s): His stubbornness and opinionated nature has led Herb to a lifetime of frequent job changes, yet he has still managed to provide his family with the basic necessities. His inability to face his own mortality, along with his conspiracy theories about the health care system and lawyers, land him in heated discussions with his wife and his brother-in-law, regarding the necessity of a will.
BRUCE (male, 40s-60s): A successful, high-powered, “work-aholic” attorney, who is a worthy match to Herb’s stubbornness. During one of their heated debates, he suffers a heart-attack and ends up in a coma.
BLANCHE (female, 40s-60s): Bruce’s dependent wife who is facing the potential reality of life without her husband. Although well-cared-for, she is saddened by all of the time and attention she missed from her husband, while he was busy focusing on his career.

Seniors of the Sahara by Barbara Pease Weber

REFIK* (male, 30s-60s): An unlucky merchant at an outdoor market in Israel.

SALVAS** (male, 40s-60s): Eugene’s former master. The bad guy.

FANNIE GREEN (female, 50s-60s): One of Sylvia Goldberg’s best friends. Wait until you see her belly dance!

MABEL MILLSTEIN (female, 50s-70s): Sylvie’s very best friend. (A real Yenta.)

THELMA WACHTER (female, 50s-70s): Another of Sylvie’s best friends. (Just don’t let her drive at night.)

SYLVIA GOLDBERG (female, 50s-70s): A respectable, retired school-teacher, who finds herself in trouble after bringing home from Israel, a priceless relic, containing a genie.

EUGENE (male, 50s-60s): A geriatric genie with a bad back and a penchant for vodka and V8.

HERMAN* (male, 50s-70s): Mabel’s cousin and the object of her many match-making schemes. Not such a bad guy after all.

MASTER OF CEREMONIES** (male, 40s-60s): (May be acted on-stage, or a voice from off-stage)

*Refik and Herman may be portrayed by the same actor.
**Salvas and Master of Ceremonies may be portrayed by the same actor.